DROP DAMAGING DEMANDS* by Sasha Lessin**, Ph.D., Dean, School of Tantra

Heed what’s hard handling your honeys. Difficulties handling them expose your expectations that they’ll do what you want or forgo what you forbid.

But when you need your mates to make you happy, you produce pain. Sometimes you get your way, but sometimes you don’t. Why upset yourself over it?

Defeat your addictions–rigid conditioning that makes you hurt and angry. Addictions are hopes that hurt. They dictate how you and your darlings must relate for you to feel fulfilled.

Replace your addictive demands with preferences. Get what you prefer and you smile. And if you don’t get what you prefer, you don’t cry. Preferences are wants which, when unmet, don’t make you moan.


Here’s a summary of Keyes’ outstanding 12 Pathways system:

Terms: An ADDICTION is something you say to yourself you must have to be happy. It is an emotion backed demand. In contrast, if a preference is not satisfied, you don’t make yourself miserable.

PROGRAMMING refers to your belief systems and characteristic ways of looking at the world.

The 7 CENTERS OF CONSCIOUSNESS refer to seven ways of filtering your experience, focusing on a particular chakra’s aspect of it, security, sensation, power, love, cornucopia, conscious awareness or cosmic consciousness.

Growth refers to dropping addictive demands entirely or converting them to preferences.

  1. I am discovering how my consciousness dominating addictions create my illusory version of the changing world of people and situations around me.

  1. I welcome the opportunity (even if painful) that my minute to minute experience offers me to become aware of the addictions I must reprogram to be liberated from my robot-like emotional patterns.

  1. I always remember that I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now — unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past or the imagined future.

  1. I take full responsibility here and now for everything I experience, for it is my own programming that creates my actions and also influences the reactions of people around me.

  2. I accept myself completely here and now and consciously experience everything I feel, think, say and do (including my emotion backed addictions) as a necessary part of my growth into higher consciousness.

  1. I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to fully communicate my deepest feelings, since hiding in any degree keep me stuck in my illusion of separateness from other people.

  1. I feel with loving compassion the problems of others without getting caught up emotionally in their predicaments that are offering them messages they need for their growth.

  1. I act freely when I am tuned in, centered and loving, but if possible, I avoid acting when I am emotionally upset and depriving myself of the wisdom that flows from love and expanded consciousness.

  1. I am continually calming the restless scanning of my rational mind in order to perceive the finer energies that enable me to unitively merge with everything around me.

  1. I am constantly aware of which of the Seven Centers of Consciousness I am using and I feel my energy, perceptiveness, love and inner peace growing as I open all of the centers of consciousness.

  2. I am perceiving everyone, including myself, as an awakening being who is here to claim his or her birthright to the higher consciousness planes of unconditional love and oneness.

  1. I am freeing myself from security, sensation and power addictions that make me try to forcefully control situations in my life and thus destroy my serenity and keep me from loving myself and others.


* Based on Keys, K., Handbook to Higher Consciousness

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