APPRECIATE PLEASER & TAKER TOO: Experiential Teaching Exercise

Chakra 3: Power Chakra
( by Sasha Alex Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, School of Tantra & Janet Kira Lessin, CEO, Aquarian Radio

The exercise below teaches you how to balance giving and taking–the concern of Chakra 3, your power chakra.

If you give too much, you deplete your energy and windup resenting those to whom you over-give.

 If you take too much, others regard you as selfish and avoid interacting with you.

 But if you learn, in the cue sequence below to assess situations and relationships from your center, you can consciously decide how much giving and taking to do in each situation and relationship in each specific context.  You also practice the basic process of coordinating your inner subselves meeting the underlying needs that motivate what them.

Either reserve an hour of private, uninterrupted time with a partner each take turns as Reader and as Responder or just do the exercise alone.  If you do it alone–alternating between Reader and Responder roles and aloud–for best results.

The cue-sequence that teaches you to balance giving and getting and how to center yourself between the opposites within you so you choose consciously instead of automatically.

Reserve an hour of private, uninterrupted time with each of your lovers and with each take turns as Reader and as Responder.

Relax, mellow out, face a partner. After you’re relaxed and comfortable, take turns as Responder and as Reader. Take each other through the cues below.

Reader, reads the cues below aloud to another partner, the Responder. Reader reads anything enclosed in square brackets [like this] silently. Where the Reader needs to respond, you see this symbol ###.

Where you see asterisks (* * *), it’s the Responder’s cue to respond: give her/him a few breaths to do so. Keep your face and body neutral while you listen; don’t roll your eyes, gesture or respond–these inhibit the Responder.


Sit on this cushion–the place for your CENTER, where you hear your inner selves.

Tell me about your Pleaser, your nice part, that makes other people happy. ***

What’s your Pleaser voice like?        ***

What does it do for you. ***

Shift to a new position, a seat for PLEASER.

Hi.  Enact Pleaser.  Say what you do for     [Responder’s name]. ***

When did your life as distinct Pleaser subself start? ***

What’s your history, Pleaser? ***

How do you protect [Responder’s name] from  hurt, fear and insecurity. ***

What have you contributed to her? ***

Say what you’d like [Responder’s name] to acknowledge and appreciate. ***

Thanks.  Let [Responder’s name] return to Center position.  [Wait till Responder moves]

Hi, Center; I call you [Responder’s name]–the whole person who contains all the supselves.

Tell me about your TAKER, the part Critic calls “Selfish”, the subself that wants you to have what you want and why you want what you want. ***

Move to a seat for your Taker.  Enact Taker.  What, Taker, do you do for [Responder’s name]? ***

Say, Taker, the main times you emerged, times you helped [Responder’s name]. ***

What would you like [Responder’s name] to appreciate you for? ***

Relate the situations nowadays, when you’d like [Responder’s name] to assert needs better. ***

How well, from your view, Taker, does [Responder’s name] meet her sexual, assertive and creative needs? ***

Thanks, I liked talking.  Now let [Responder’s name] again return to CENTER. [Wait till Responder moves]

Now move again; stand behind me, in the WITNESS position. [Wait till Responder moves]

Here’s my review what your Pleaser and Taker said. ### [Summarize what you heard]

Stand.  Embrace impartially.  As Witness, you don’t decide anything.  You just sense each voice’s energy as I tell about them.  [Say what you noticed about her Pleaser and Taker] Nod, “Yes,” when you feel them.

Return once more to the CENTER cushion. Experience the middle.  Feel and appreciate Pleaser and Taker.

Say what you learned interviewing both your Pleaser and your Taker. ***

Now let’s trade roles, you enact Reader, I’ll enact Responder as you read the cues for Appreciate Pleaser & Taker Too  (above).



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